


Zombie Apocalypse: not as cool as advertised

by florahart



Category: Castle, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Gen, M/M, Wraith on earth, apocalyptic, no promise of a happy ending, reference to other characters' deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4402391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florahart/pseuds/florahart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Wraith show up at Earth, the SGA team comes looking for Castle because he has the gene.  Getting him out of New York and to Atlantis, though, turns out not to be particularly easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zombie Apocalypse: not as cool as advertised

**Author's Note:**

  * For [debirlfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/debirlfan/gifts).



> Written for Apocalyptothon 2015. This necessarily means this fic is set in and around a disaster, which means many characters may be dead.

There was nothing about the situation that called for excitement, but ultimately, fifty minutes into what was, actually, a terrifying scramble for their lives through a lot of sewers and the occasional mechanical tunnel, Rick couldn’t help himself and well, hell. If it was the end of the world, he was going out the way he’d lived, okay? He moved up a little to the leader and said, “So, you want me to fly a spaceship. Through a genuine wormhole to another galaxy. With my brain! How cool is that!” 

“Not a spaceship. It’s a shuttle, and it can go into space, but it’s hardly the kind of thing you’d take on an extended trip. And it’s not with your brain, exactly. McKay has the brains, no problem, but he can only fly them because of genetic witchcraft.” The guy wasn’t even winded, which was probably the natural result of apparently having been dealing with this kind of crap for years—and being military and stuff, but whatever. He kept his voice down and let the little not-exactly-bluetooth communicator things carry the sound.

“Science, John. Science is not witchcraft,” hollered McKay from where he was bringing up the rear. He was back there setting up some kind of electrical bombs on the passageways, stopping and waving them on each time, then running to catch up. He raised his voice a little despite the ear-things, as though they couldn’t all hear him from twenty yards back.

“Yeah, but witchcraft is fine too,” Rick said. You want me to use witchcraft to fly a short-range spaceship through a genuine wormhole to another galaxy with my brain!” He looked at Kate and then back at Alexis, who rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, if it wasn’t for how the planet’s been invaded by space zombies, this would be _totally awesome_.”

“Castle—“

Although. “Zombie apocalypse, though. Both as cool, and extremely not as cool, as advertised.”

“They’re more like vampires than zombies,” John said. “Only, with technology.”

“Right.” It was true; whatever that one had done to Lainey just before these guys had showed up certainly did seem more like sucking the life out of her than eating any brains. “Yeah, but Technovampire apocalypse. Doesn’t really have the same ring to it, you know?”

John snorted and barked out one short sharp honk of a laugh and even Ronon, the very large, very silent, very sober man jogging next to them cracked a hint of a smile. “No, really it doesn’t.” He looked over his shoulder. “You guys keeping up okay?”

“We’re fine,” said McKay, bringing up the rear. He didn’t look like he should be a good runner, but it obviously pissed him off that the leader kept asking. “I’ll be sure to scream like a girl if I find myself in trouble, Colonel.” 

“How will I be able to tell that from you having seen a rat?” John shot back.

“If I see a rat big enough to be worrying in this context, I’ll shout _head for the fireswamp_ , obviously. Now you just keep running and shooting at everything in sight, and I’ll handle the math back here.” He stopped to place another of his devices. 

“Yeah, well, you keep an eye out for quicksand anyway,” John said. “And fuck you, I wrote just as much of the specs for those as you did.”

“It makes you happy when I let you play along,” McKay answered, again a little louder than he needed to. Rick wondered if this _was_ his inside voice. “Also, actually, in case you aren’t paying attention, R.O.U.S., seventy meters up the branch at your eleven.”

“Got it,” John said. He put up a fist and Kate and Esposito stopped immediately, with Alexis following suit half a second later. Castle stumbled when Kate grabbed the back of his tac vest, but came up apologizing as John and Ronon split apart to the sides of the tunnel and moved forward silently.

“You think they know they sound like a bickering couple?” Esposito whispered. “They sound like you guys.” He paused. " _God_ I wish Ryan... anyway."

“Shh,” Alexis murmured back. “Fist means stop and quiet.” She put her finger to her lips for emphasis, then took off her helmet and quickly adjusted the strap before putting it back on. 

They stood together in the tunnel and listened to the drip of whatever gross stuff might be dripping until they heard a sudden flurry of slashes and zaps up ahead. 

“Hey, wait,” Rick said, “if I’m supposed to be able to use all this stuff, why don’t I have one of those guns?”

“Because ‘can shoot’ and ‘knows how to select a target and take aim’ are not the same skill set,” McKay said. “and that second one comes after ‘can remember to stop when signaled’ so, you know, somehow he has to make the time to put you through boot camp first.”

“Nah, I’m delegating that to you, McKay,” John said as he came back around the bend of the tunnel. “I know how you love teaching impatient students.”

McKay’s gasp was somehow both indignant and tolerant. “Yeah, that’s gonna end well.”

John grinned. “We ready to go on? It’s only another mile and a half or so to the ‘jumpers and then we can split up and get started working out how to proceed.”

Rick felt another jolt of inappropriate enthusiasm. But: spaceships! Well, fine, being excited would probably help with the mile and a half more running. John took the lead again, with Kate and Esposito behind him and Ronon next to Rick and Alexis. McKay continued to bring up the rear. 

“So, if you guys think Dad has whatever this gene is,” Alexis asked after a few minutes, “what about me?”

Ronon glanced over and nodded. “Maybe.”

“The test to scan for the gene within the US population was developed by a contingent that’s mostly US military,” McKay said. 

“And?”

“And they used the profiles they had on hand from their people with Ancient genes still on the base.”

“…And?”

“And we’re all guys,” John said. “It didn’t occur to them to adjust for women.”

“Yeah, well that’s stupid,” Alexis said.

“Earth people are weird,” Ronon explained.

“Wait,” Rick said, stopping. “Wait, _Earth people?_ You’re an _alien?_ ”

“Not the time, Dad.”

“Seriously, Castle,” Kate agreed.

“No, right, of course, okay. But: spaceships! Aliens! Technovampires! Brains!” Rick started running again. “If this weren’t completely terrible, this would be the best day of my _life_!”

“Obviously,” Kate said. 

“But he looks – you look – totally human! Wait, are there aliens among us after all? Was there an invasion and we never knew it? Were the conspiracy nuts _right?_ ”

“You say _conspiracy nuts_ like you aren’t one of them,” Esposito said. 

“Hey, just because I’m a skeptic… But seriously, are there a bunch of you on Earth?”

Ronon rolled his eyes and kept jogging, moving up next to Esposito and Kate.

“Aw, come on. I’ll know soon anyway.”

“Castle—“

“What! I will! And I’m getting a stitch in my side so someone really should distract me from my pain.”

“That’s your argument?” Alexis poked his arm, hard.

“Ow!”

“There, you’re distracted.”

“Esposito thinks you guys are fucking,” Ronon said, pointing from John to McKay. 

“Wait, they’re _not?_ ” Rick asked. “Everything I knew this morning is a lie.”

“This morning you knew John and McKay were fucking?” Alexis raised her eyebrows. “Dad, now you have an ancient gene _and precognition!_. It’s like I don’t even know you!” She nudged him with her shoulder. “Come on, we’re almost there, Stitchy.”

“You just met us, and you all think we’re…” McKay sighed. “John, you know, it was one thing when they whole base figured we were spending every private moment banging on every horizontal surface.”

“Oh, please, McKay. If I were boning one of my team, I wouldn’t limit myself to horizontal surfaces,” John said.

“Yeah, but at this point complete strangers see it.”

“Oh, and so you figure you should go with the flow? For the first time in your life?”

McKay dropped back to place another device and then caught back up and shrugged. “I’m just saying. Just think how much less tightly wound we’d both be.”

“That would be good for everyone,” Ronon said. 

Esposito gestured back and forth between Rick and Kate. “My brother, I hear you.”

Ronon grinned.

“Stop. Got one–wait, two. Two, a couple tunnels over,” McKay said. “No direct connection. Detour?”

“Nah. We’re there in two minutes. Pick it up, guys.” John ran a little faster, and Rick groaned and joined him.

“This is Sheppard,” John said, putting a finger to his earpiece. “Teyla, you ready for us?”

“We are here, John. I am glad that you are back.”

“Who’s Teyla?” Rick asked.

“The rest of my team,” John said. “The ‘jumper’s cloaked, so it’s going to look like a door from nowhere opens. Just up here.”

“You have _cloaking technology?_ ” Rick sighed. “Man. Beckett, if this is some kind of elaborate birthday present—“

“Even you can't think we'd stage the destruction of humanity for you, and besides, your birthday isn’t for two months, Castle—“

“Yeah, but the _surprise factor_. Anyway, I was going to say you got it really right again. Except for the destruction of humanity part. Anyway—oh, hey. Yeah, that _does_ look like a door out of nowhere. Wow.” Rick followed John into the cockpit and looked around. “You want me to fly _this_?”

“Not today, no. But ultimately? Yes.” John dropped into the seat and glanced back. “Everyone strapped in?”

There was a chorus of yeses, and he glanced at Rick. “You too. Sit there.” He pointed. 

Rick sat, looking at the blank screen and panels in front of him as he fumbled with the strap. “Uh. Shouldn’t there be, like, controls?”

John grinned. “Don’t touch anything.” He moved his hands in the air and lifted the little ship off, then shrugged. “There are.”

“Oh.” 

“And now, back to Atlantis.”

“ _Atlantis?_ Like, the lost—“

“City of Atlantis, lost in history somewhere, mythical, magical, yadda.” McKay looked at Kate. “Is he always like this? Because I thought Sheppard was exhausting.”

She laughed. “Sorry. So, _where_ exactly are we going?”

“Atlantis. It’s moored off San Francisco.”

Rick looked back. “Moored. The city is…” He gasped, then squeezed his hands into fists again. “The city is the spaceship. Okay, wait, no. Okay, that’s impossible. Mayyybe you should take us back. I mean. You can’t shape a ship like a city. That makes no sense. Beckett, we’ve been kidnapped by a madman.” Rick started to unbelt himself. “Alexis, honey, I—“

“Oh, so you were fine with spaceships, wormholes, vampires, and aliens, but the city is the bridge too far?” John looked over. “If I show you something—give you some access--can you promise to control yourself?”

“Oh god oh god, we’re all going to die,” Alexis muttered in the back as Rick said “Show me what? Yes, but what are you going to show me that will prove anything?”

“Just…” John pointed. “Think about continuing to fly to Atlantis. Then set your hand on here.” He pointed, and Rick closed his eyes tight and thought Atlantis Atlantis Atlantis as he put his hand on the panel.

“You’re probably going to want your eyes open.”

“Holy shit.” He glanced back. “Beckett, are you seeing this?”

“Uh. No?”

“Wow. It’s kind of amazing. But it doesn’t really prove…”

“Ask for the abbreviated history of the Atlantis mission.”

“Ask how?”

John shrugged. “With your brain.” He turned his attention back to the flight controls as Rick tried that, then started blinking at a moving display in front of him and trying to keep at least a little of his attention on the people around him. And mostly failing.. John adjusted their course further west and said over his shoulder, “We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Seriously?” Esposito frowned. “I didn’t know there was anything that could fly that fast.”

“Oh, yeah, okay,” McKay said, “because obviously alien technology from another galaxy is definitely constrained by Earth tech.” He handed Esposito a tablet. “Here. You’ll want to—“

The ‘jumper jolted to one side, and John swore. “McKay, what was—“

“Hang on. Okay. Second hive ship in orbit, and apparently targeting _us_ ,” McKay said, grabbing the tablet back and flipping through pages, consulting chart after chart and twisting an image for a better view.

“How are they seeing us?”

“No idea. Cloak’s fine.”

Teyla put her hand to her head. “They’re feeling me. I had thought this would never come up here, but I… can tell they can tell we are here. Ronon—“

Ronon swiftly punched her, knocking her out, and John dodged another bolt and leveled them out. “Great.”

“Wait, why—“ Alexis began.

“She can feel their presence,” McKay explained. “Apparently some of the ones on ship 2 can feel her, as well, which is exactly what we needed here because it’s not really enough to have Wraith feeding on Earth because they fucking followed us here. Jesus. Anyway, knocking her out can’t hurt, might… oh dammit. John? _John?_ ” He started poking at a flashing beacon on his tablet. “JOHN.”

“Yeah?”

“You have a power situation.”

John flipped some holographic dials and swore again. “Two more minutes and we’d have been good. Jesus. Fine. Rough landing, then.” He dropped the ‘jumper into a dive and glanced at Rick. “Hey. Castle. Enough history, into the present. So, lesson one: ditching.”

“Wait, what?” Rick looked at the history display for another second, then thought _close_ at it and tried not to gawp when it did. He took his hand off the panel.

“Can’t bring her through the city’s shields without dropping the city’s cloak. Can’t do that with a hive ship in orbit and on this side of the planet or this is gonna be a real short trip. Can’t wait because we don’t have the power. So we ditch, we swim, and we hope Sam Carter can figure out how to make a hole we can get in through. So. Hang on, everyone, crashing hurts.”

The ‘jumper hit the water smoothly and dove, then leveled out and rose again, a few feet under the surface. 

“All right everyone. Floatation devices under the bench, there.”

“What about her?” Alexis pointed at Teyla, still unconscious and strapped to her seat, nose bleeding sluggishly.

“I’ve got her,” Ronon said. He picked her up and strapped both of them together, then stood at the door. “Ready.”

“Everyone into the cargo compartment. Back here. When we open the door, water will rush in. We’re not that far underwater, and the ‘jumper will maintain position for a while before the power fails—and then with water in it’ll probably sink, so waiting here wouldn’t help, okay?”

“Right,” Alexis said. “But won’t this mean we lose the cloaking thing?”

“Yeah, but we’re small and in a big ocean, and they don’t know where we went down. It’s not like I dropped like a rock where they hit us.”

“Good point. Still.” 

“Not much I can do about,” John said. “But if anyone wants to stand around and argue about it until we hit the ocean floor…”

“Hey, she’s just asking—“ Rick started.

“No, Dad, it’s fair,” Alexis said. “And it seems like we should get started.” Kate nodded and helped her tighten a strap around her waist.

“We should. But seriously, if you can’t hang on, hold your breath, and make for the surface, now’s the time to say. Water’ll come in hard, and I need to know now if it’s going to be an issue.” John looked at each of them. “Ready?”

“Ready,” Kate said. 

“Ready.” Alexis looked at Rick and said, “Dad?”

He shook his head. “Revision: apocalypses: generally very uncool. Seriously someone needs to do a better job with these stories. But this Sam guy, he's good?”

“Are. You. Ready?”

“Okay. Yeah, okay, ready.”

“Here we go.” John slapped a button and a door sealed them into the rear of the compartment, and then the hatch opened.

Rick gasped, but quickly caught his breath again as the water slammed into them, and he grabbed Alexis’s hand. He saw Kate hanging on with Esposito, and all of them together stepped out into the ocean and headed for the light above.

“And now we wait?” he asked, as they broke the surface.

“Now we wait,” John said. He brought up a folded rubber square to the water’s surface and pulled a tab, then watched it expand into a boat that would hold four of them. “And we take turns resting. It might be a little while until she can get to us. She being Carter, who is a she. I sent a message detailing the circumstances, ”

“How far from your city are we?”

“Not far,” John said. “Not far at all.” He looked past Rick to the north into open water, and gave McKay a shove. “In the boat, Rodney. I know how much you love boats out on the big wide ocean.”

“Yes, well, at least Earth only has a couple species of really big sharks. Oh, and jellyfish. And probably given this week we’re going to go floating right into the Great Island of Plastic Garbage.”

“Not really,” Alexis said. “We were over land just before we went down, so even at whatever crazy speed your ship goes, we can’t be that far out into the Pacific.”

John grinned. “Oh look, McKay, logic. Maybe you’ll survive this after all.”

McKay grumbled, but hoisted himself into the boat and helped drag Rick in with him.

“Alexis?” Rick reached out, but John shook his head and moved so that Kate and Alexis were to either side of him, as Ronon dumped Teyla up and over the side and to the boat's floor. Everyone held onto the boat. 

“Rather not see how it does with four people unless we start to have pretty serious hypothermia problems,” John said. “Floatation devices will help with that, anyway.”

Which, now that he said it, Rick noticed; he was chilly and wet all over, but his torso was warming enough to be useful. “Okay, so why am I up here?”

“We came to get you for your genes. We need them. McKay's in the boat because his toys don't like being submerged for too long.” John nodded at the tablet McKay was squeegeeing off, which, and okay, that was kind of cool, was apparently not completely dead from a thirty-second journey in the ocean.

McKay looked up, scowled, and offered a half-hearted middle finger at John, who snorted. 

“And Teyla, obviously. Unconscious is not a good way to be in open water.”

“Obviously,” Alexis said. “Dad, I'm good for now.”

“And me,” Kate said. Esposito nodded from the other side of Ronon and adjusted his grip on the rubbery rope thing around the outside of the boat. 

Rick considered that as he looked around them, then turned to McKay. “I don't suppose your tablets have any of whatever I'm going to need to know?”

“Yes, actually.” McKay fished out a device and handed it over. “Here.”

Rick took it and grinned at the blue buttons that lit up immediately. “Oh, cool.” He waited a minute. “Uh, what's it do?”

“Trigonometry,” McKay said. 

“Oh. I was never really that good at--”

“I was joking. Do whatever you did before,” McKay said. John sighed and reached up, jabbing at a triangular button until some kind of holographic thing popped up. 

“Cool.”

“Try not to break anything.”

“Hey, I can be careful.” Rick looked at Kate when she snorted. “What, I _can_!”

“Can and do aren't really the same. It's sort of like do or do not, there is no try,” McKay said. “But anyway, so _do_.”

“Fine. Hey, what's that?” Rick pointed over McKay's head to the north.

“That would be Atlantis,” John said as he turned to the horizon. “Uh, but...” He closed his eyes. “But we should not be able to see it.” McKay started tapping hurriedly at his tablet and muttering as he scrolled through material.”

“Maybe it means your friend Sam is on her way?” Rick suggested.

John futzed with the cord and radio in his ear. “I have signal,” he said. “I'd think she'd have said?”

McKay shook his head. “Nope. It's Atlantis trying to fucking _bring Castle to her_. Shit.” He grabbed the device from Rick's hand and shut it off, then went back to typing as he talked. “Atlantis, McKay. Cloak's down, in case you can't tell. Shield's trying to fall. Might as well just come pick us up.”

John broke in. “Unless you want to submerge and call it acceptable loss,” he said. “It'd be better to at least bring the cloak back up and wait to see if they saw anyway.”

“Hey. I am _not_ an acceptable loss,” McKay said. “And if you remember, I came and fetched your ass from a million years in the future, so don't start. Plus, the cloak isn't letting itself go back up, and if you were _listening_ , the shield is trying to come down too. Look.” He turned his tablet around. “She's decided she needs him—which, hey, maybe she's decided you're extraneous?--and you know how she gets.”

“Atlantis, you read us?” John held up a finger and listened, then ground the heel of his hand into his eye socket. “Yeah. Yeah, we can-- Perfect. No, I don't have a better-- Christ. Okay, see ya when we see ya.” He jerked the radio out of his ear. “They want me to try to tow you home on the principle that Radek thinks they can keep the shield up if we're bringing him to her.”

“ _Tow_ us? Like, you in the 'jumper and us...”

“Yeah. It's keeping station basically right under us still. Power fails I cut you loose, you're that much closer anyway.”

“And you sink to the bottom?” McKay looked horrified.

“Carter says I should still be able to get back out again, although it'll make the 'jumper unsalvageable.”

“Should? No. John, you can't--”

“McKay, this is _always_ the job, and this is _always_ the fight we have.”

“Had. We had it in Pegasus. Since we've been home and usually not in danger any more, I, well, got used to you not being probably going to die. I liked it.” McKay put up his chin. “So, you know, don't. Die.”

John shook his head. “Not gonna.” Rick wondered if he always said that, too. Probably. It seemed like what Kate would do.

“Fine. But hurry up. The sooner you start, the more time you probably have. Ish.”

“Got an estimate?”

McKay jabbed at the tablet some more. “Maybe ten minutes.”

“Great. Hold onto your hats, folks.” 

'You're going to need more hands than you have, if your power fails,” Kate said.

“No one else here can pilot except McKay, and if Atlantis needs more fixing, it needs him.” John shrugged. “I'll be fine.”

Rick sighed. Kate was definitely going with him, based on the look on her face, and he couldn't really disagree. She was a strong swimmer, and John might very well get a little busy. “Yeah you will,” he said, “She's really great at keeping headstrong idiots alive.” He looked at Kate again. “ Love you. Be careful.”

“Yeah, what he said,” McKay added. “Careful. Also, how are you planning to tow us? Harpoon?”

John hauled a pair of what Rick thought must be light ropes, strings, really, out of his vest, but since McKay didn't seem to think they were ludicrous he decided they must be made of something not from around here. But evidently his excitement gene had finally been overloaded, because he couldn't even get worked up about it. He took an end, passed it to Esposito to fasten at John's direction, and leaned down to peck Kate on the lips. “Go get 'em.”

“See you in ten,” she said.

“I'll be here.” 

The each took a deep breath and dove under. McKay watched where they'd gone for a long three or four seconds, then squared his shoulders. “So maybe we should pull your kid up in here for towing. Ronon, you good?”

Ronon nodded. “I can hang on. Esposito?”

“Good. Alexis, get in the boat.”

Alexis let Rick and McKay pull her up, then arranged herself carefully behind Teyla and found places to hang on just as the 'jumper breached the surface again and the little boat jerked and pulled forward, smooth but terrifyingly fast.

Rick put one hand over Alexis's and hung on himself with the other. “Being married to a cop kind of sucks,” he said to McKay.

McKay tossed his tablet in his bag and zipped it up, then waved toward the 'jumper before grabbing hold himself. “Probably a lot like a soldier in an interplanetary war zone,” he said quietly.


End file.
